I have been in Egypt for about a week. Egypt has a special place in my heart. I have to admit that this trip so far has been great. It has not been great because I am not site seeing or going to cool places. No this trip has been a trip of reconnecting and just hang out. You might wonder that last year’s trip had the same purpose, which is true but I was in a crappy place last year when I came here. I did not want to do anything put sit and lament about my life. This year is different. I am enjoying friends, enjoy life and most of all enjoying the food ;). On a serious note, so far i am enjoying Egypt and yes the though of move back here is still in my mind but it will not be on my terms but on HIS terms.
Two nights ago I had some of my friends over for us to catch up on has been happening in our lives. It was probably one of the highlights of this trip so far. The guys were genuine and open. We shared and talked about life, ministry, theology, and culture. It was refreshing to hear people my age from a different country share some of my passion and vision toward the lost. It was just great.
Next week ill be going to Beit El Salam for a camp which i am excited to be part of. The camp is called Sketch. It is a camp that does ministry through sports, which a very popular ministry in Egypt. I am going as an Administrator, which means ill do scoring and some referring. It will be fun.
So, so far it was been a pleasant trip and i am looking forward to learning and growing more…
I was going to write something about Christopher Laurie but i think his dad Greg Laurie said what i want to say. Greg spoke to his church this Sunday, 4 days after his son’s death. Please keep praying for the family.
I really wanted to post something this weekend about Tony Snow but I was busy with work. One thought came to me once i read the news about Tony Snow’s death Saturday morning. What a crappy year. See 2008 is a year that so far has been full of death. I am sorry that i am so straight forward but really. As i look back to what i wrote about Tim Russet Tony Snow is no different. Mr. Snow was a person that i also truly enjoyed listening and watching too. He had something about his voice that attracted your attention. His knowledge of the political culture was also superb. In two words Tony Snow was fair and balanced.
As a family man, he cared about his family. He loved his wife and 3 children. He approached his illness in the same manner he approached life. He battled two rounds with it. Faith was also important to him. He showed by his dedication to his family and work.
Mrs. Snow and his two daughters and Son our prayers are with you and may God give you comfort during these graving times.
This is going to be one of those posts that i am going to put out there. I really feel that i need to write something. See for the past two weeks i have been really struggling with a lot of things. I have been struggling with the past. I have been struggling with the present. I have been struggling with the future. I have been doing a lot of what you may call soul searching and i really don’t like what i am seeing. These have been two weeks were i reflected on the past year and i am just struggling. Let start with a little recap.
Last year the same time as right now, i was air bound to Egypt for me to recover from two years of dreaming, working hard, and realizing that i have failed miserably. You see i have always have had the dream of being a cop and being good at it. As i went through undergrad and then the hiring process of different departments i though that i am set. Even in the academy, in the toughest times during the training, i still though all i need to stick through it and ill be fine. But i remember about a three weeks before i graduated from the academy, i started doubting. I started doubting the future of me in a job like that, doubting the fact that is a career i want to be in, doubting the fact that i am going to spend the next 25 to 30 years doing this job. I kinda shrugged it off and said it was fear of something new. Little did i know…
Don’t get me wrong i have said it and will always say it, being a police officer is the most noble jobs to have in a society. I loved ever moment of it but i still did know if it was for me. So when i resigned i was kinda fine with it. I remember driving back to my apt. after resigning and saying “God that did not work out now what????” That is the question that for a year have been struggling with and no answers seem to be in the horizon.
Going to Egypt was probably one of the few right decisions that i have taken in the past year. To be very honest, i really wanted to go to Egypt and just get lost, get away from things and the last thing on my mind was God. To my surprise (yeah right) God did chase me and he reignited certain passions in me. One these passions was ministry and helping people in their walk with God and have a deeper understanding of there faith. I am not talking about preaching or teaching, i am talking about living life with people. Laughing with them when they need, and crying with them when it is also needed. God also opened my eyes to need of people there, the need of people to be discipled and mentored. I know the need is also present here but here but here there resources that are not found in Egypt. I don’t know why i am sharing this but i guess i am.
So coming back i had a plan, Get a job any job and pay my debt and then move to Egypt and try to get any job and minister there. But now i did know. I genuinely don’t know what to do. I keep dreaming of going back to a different department and applying myself more but still i am afraid that negative things that reared its ugly head while i was a cop would come back. I dream of working and ministering in Egypt but i am afraid to screw that up too. You see i have been struggling with the idea that i screw up things. I am not talking about a little mistake here or there, NO i am talking about throwing out the baby and the bath water along side the bucket that were used in the process. I am struggling and i don’t know what to do or say. The future for me is bleak now and i am struggling to make sense of it. Simply put i am struggling…
Today was a normal friday for me. Work and life was going normal all of a sudden bam, Hani calls me and leaves me a message about the dead of Tim Russert. If you have not heard yet or are living under a rock, Tim Russert of NBC passed away today. Russert was not your typical news man. I remember the first sunday i ever watched Meet the Press. I was working at a gas station, which a lot of arabs do when they first come to the states, I worked Saturdays and Sundays. So Sunday mornings were slow business days. So i got to watch tv uninterrupted. The first political program i watched was Meet the Press. I loved the knowledge that Russert displayed. He also displayed so much kindness and grace to his guest. That did not mean that he backed away from asking the hard questions. He was man of faith and he was not shy about sharing that. You had an easy time watching him.
Personally, after the first time i saw Tim Russert i just kept looking forward to his shows and internviews. I am being truthful that the first memory that came to my mind when i heard the news today was the white board shot and me setting watching the 2000 Presidential election. I remembered staying up till 2 am and watching Russert signing off with not give us the viewers a clear answer about who the next president was. I still remember it tell now.
He also was a great family man. I have been watching tv most of the night and i keep hearing interviews with him where he kept talking about his father (Big Russ) and son (Luke). Every time i see an interview where he mentions them, i see a little glare in his eyes. He was very passionate about them and proud to be part of there lives.
As for his faith, he was a devout Catholic and from what i have read and seen. I also think he might have had a personal relationship with christ. I think that the best quote that would fit Russert’s life would be “actions speak louder than words.”
So for the Russert family I am sorry for your lose and may God be very present in your grief. You are in my prayer.
I am a fallen person trying to make sense of this fallen world. This is my attempt to do so. This is a site dedicated to help me understand the world. Please feel free to visit, leave comments, and link me. You also could email me at happy[at]happybushra[dot]com
